Janet Jackson's Fashion Nightmare

We're just going to throw this out there. Now, if you want to pick it up and run with it, please by all means do so. If not, that's cool too. WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FRIG' is this? Shall we analyze? Oh yes! Ok. Janet, please explain the following:

1. Belt: Why did you feel the need to have too golden hands clasped across your crotchal region?

2. Bracelets: Did you break your wrists? Are these being used as fashionable support instead of your standard medical cast?

3. Jacket: Did you borrow this jacket from one of your brother's 12 yr old boyfriends? It dooooesn't fiiiiiit.

4. Belly: Yes, you lost a laaa-hot of weight. Regardless, no need. It still looks warped and strange.

5. Hat: Yeesh.

6. Shoes: We actually cut those OUT of the picture. It was just too much.

7. Boobs: Oh, god...hahahaha. Ok, allow us to compose ourselves. Based on your quote(s) from a week ago regarding your sexual escapades with Jermaine Dupri, was this bondage gone terribly wrong? Could you not get it off? Or is it the fact that there is no longer blood circulation going to your breasts and you want to make sure you don't lose them?
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