Fatty Sex RULES!!!! - Janet Jackson

Interesting. Janet Jackson still got jiggy with Jermaine Dupri even though she could've eaten him during intercourse. We are going to go ahead and give Jermaine props for being so brave. Bitch was HUGE! And, he isn't exactly a BIG guy. She could've just swallowed him whole and picked his little bling out of her teeth with his left femur bone. During an interview with Grazia magazine Janet said:

"Not once did he make me feel uncomfortable. He'd grab me, pull me around the stomach, look me in the eyes and say, 'This needs love too!' I thought that was the sweetest thing. I've never in my life had love that was so unconditional. My weight never affected my sex life. Nothing changed, nothing!"

Well Janet, you are looking damn good now. So apparently, all that wild fat sex did the job.

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Fergie: Lovin' Crystal Meth, Hatin' On Bloggers

Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas sent a few messages out to the gay community through HX magazine. First and foremost, the Ferg was a big fan of crystal meth and ecstatcy...

"It’s [crystal meth] so cunning because it’s such a fun drug at first. You lose weight and look great for a while..."

Ya, that is exactly the thing you want to tell potential drug users. YOU LOOK GREAT! Oh, and Fergie has a lot to say about us bloggers out there...

I just think, ‘Wow, I’ve worked so hard for this, but what are you doing other than sitting there behind your computers and talking shit about people?’ If people don’t like me, fine, but don’t dis people if you’re not getting off your ass and doing something about your own life.”

Youch! Go easy Ferg! Most bloggers write on the side for fun (blogs, for the most part, are personal hobbies). We do have lives, pretty damn good ones. AND we were never addicted to crystal meth, ecstacy or whatever else you smoke or swallowed. Last time we checked, we have something here called "freedom of speech" that allows us to make fun of you as much as we like. "Dissing" usually comes with fame and fortune. So if you have to deal with a little schoolyard teasing in exchange for millions of dollars, cars, houses, (maybe some more crystal meth?) etc. BIG DEAL. We don't feel bad. In fact, because of that statement, we may just might make it a point to talk about your more on this blog than usual just in sheer immature spite. Considering, we never really gave a shit about you before now.
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The Enigma that is Nicole Richie

How does this chick do it? We see these photos of her eating monster burgers bigger than her head and stuffing her face with fries in public! And yet she makes Kate Bosworth look like she belongs on MTV True Life "I'm Obese". Where is this food going? Is it bulemia? Doubtful but possible. Her face isn't pudgy and her teeth aren't rotting. It is truly the enigma that is Nicole Richie. Unless perhaps her body has mutated into some sort of super-socialite that starves itself automatically. Amazing!
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Million Dollar Nipples!

Check out Lydia Hearst. This girl is an heiress to a significantly large fortune. Her great grandfather was William Randolph Hearst (huuuuge media dude) and she just happens to be the daughter of famed bank robber (allegedly) Patricia Hearst.

So why, may we ask, does Lydia feel the need to parade her nipples around? Well, at least they aren't ugly nipples. For the most part they are pretty mannequin-esk. Normal sized, no surprises. Pretty nice. In fact, they aren't even store bought (which is a rarity)! For that, we give you credit Lydia. You may be flaunting the goods a little much, but at least they are legit.

However, we must address the fact that this blatant flaunting of hardened nipples does not make us want to haul ass to nab ourselves some chain link nip cutters right now. We understand this is high fashion but PAlease.

*Thanks to jOe for submitting photography*